..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
