My room smells like vodka and shame
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
