you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
