I think my vagina is haunted
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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