is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
