On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
