it hurts more in the daytime
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
