I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
