I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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