is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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