Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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