i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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