Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
is that a dick in a sweater?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
