If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
