then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
