Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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