Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She needs sedatives and a leash
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
