I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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