You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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