Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
