I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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