ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
