it wasn't lemon gatorade
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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