He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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