I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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