we have officially lost it.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
