She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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