He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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