I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
