I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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