What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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