absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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