the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
