ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
