More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
