Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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