i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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