He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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