she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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