Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
