apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
