i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
