I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I will die if light touches me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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