We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
