You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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