3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
