carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
We are all done wearing pants today
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
