oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
