What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
