I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
