fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
