yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
And then he peed in my hair
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